White Feathers

A poem on wrote for the International day of Peace in 2016 …. worth another read …

mikesnexus

Inspired to write a poem on peace, seeing as the 21st of Sept was/is the International Day of Peace.

a white feather fell from heaven doves fly by a bullet whistles past blood drips from the bough of a tree peace in our time is the mantra can it be believed cowardice, faith, protection, bravery peace so many messages, to which do we cleave hope from beyond; past, present or future don’t shoot the messenger crying white doves circle hoping they do not die bringing their message doves cry where children die hope dies when doves cannot fly may they be lifted on the wings of peace upwards to a burning sky to a place with no name the sun sets on a world in disarray how many more white feathers need to fall from a burning sky the spirits are watching are they at peace? I pray that…

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The Sunsets and Rises across the Red Sea

Have been based on the Red Sea in KSA since June. The desert  scenery is vast, breathtaking, desolate and beautiful. I have been going for sunrise runs/cycles across the barren plains and coast, feeling the morning heat rising and the humidity been burnt off as the wind slowly picks up, drying out everything, including my sweat soaked training gear and drying the sweat on my body. Here are some of the photo’s, taken with my Huawei P40 Pro, and amazing camera phone. More to follow … 🙂 … as, thanks to COVID I am still here for a few more months.

© 2020 michael d emmerich
© 2020 mikesnexus.com

Enough !!

how long must one endure?

giving up not coz I don’t care

but because others don’t

I’ve fuckin’ had enough



stepping back from life’s bullshit

fighting a losing battle

trying not to lose war

by losing the battle



how deep must one dig?

until you find it all,

then to discover

maybe you still do

….

© 2020 michael d emmerich

© 2020 mikesnexus.com

Too Tired To..

I

the last autumn leaf cleaves

bone tired, refusing to fall

grasping the weathered phalange

extending from the gnarled skeletal branch

reaching ….

by a mere filament it hangs

to stubborn … or

too tired to fall

II

that feeling, at days end

when the marrow has been sucked

from the core of your life

when you just too tired to sigh

……

yes, one of those days

that’s how I wake up these days

© 2020 michael d emmerich

© 2020 mikesnexus.com

The Banality of Corporate Deceit

Sad but true – far to often I get caught up in this type of corporate greed, where for a few dollars more or an attempt to save on a budget line item …. staff/practitioners are put at risk. Here we go again … just for a few dollars more on our bottom line lets see how we can fuck you over whilst you slave away on the ground in the middle of a pandemic, let me count the ways I can fuck you over salary, equipment, medications .. oh I’m sure I will find a way; to increase my “cost saving” bonus at year end … but don’t worry says the fat cat – while he sits at home; sees his family, sips his whiskey and enjoys the comforts and human touch, whilst those of us in the trenches have (as usual) none …

Take a read at the poem in the link below … nothing changes …they always the same, no matter how many times they revisit their values and mission statements at fancy weekend management conventions ..

https://mikesnexus.com/2016/02/21/the-banality-of-corporate-deceit/

What is Home?

home is where we start

but not where were it ends

the pathway from birth to death

is littered with choices



collected, used, stored, discarded

some stones sparkle and tempt

others lie cracked, damaged, exposed

by life's harsh realities



yet there is value in these damaged stones

and then, one day, I will die somewhere

against my will or another’s

but not today
© 2020 michael d emmerich
© 2020 mikesnexus.com

Do No Harm

“First do no harm” – Primum non nocere

responsibility and the cost thereof

who bears responsibility

who carries the burden

when others do not


what price is paid

in blood or stress?

they pay in blood, but not their own

sooner or later the piper calls


hippocratic or hypocrite?

to do no harm one must,

at least be able to do

I came to save not bury


the greater the responsibility

the greater the cost

what is the price

of keeping others alive?
© 2020 michael d emmerich
© 2020 mikesnexus.com

do no harm

 

This Novel Storm

the sun is behind the clouds

can it rain for a lifetime?

a gray-black morass

hangs over all



this damocles sword

denying all of happiness

who reside amongst this,

constant apprehension



this novel storm that rages

cuts all to the quick

while remaining an affirmation of life

despite the suffering
© 2020 michael d emmerich
© 2020 mikesnexus.com

Lost and Found in the Time of Covid

At times I am not sure if I am stuck in Dante’s first circle of Hell; Limbo, or one of Poe’s 7 rooms in “The Masque of the Red Death” or in some strange sick way stuck with just the 7 dwarfs, or one of them, on any given day….

7 of something

Covid has kept me trapped or should I say locked in and locked out – locked in Saudi Arabia and locked out of South Africa; the irony is that they are both abbreviated to SA. Stuck in SA, whilst trying to get to SA – a perpetual state of limbo. The pandemic is so representative of Poe’s writings – representing the typical attributes of human life and mortality, which would imply that Covid could be an allegory about man’s futile attempts to stave off the inevitable, death. Yet, as we might expect, there is no locking out or blotting out death. By the end of the outbreak, it will have broken down the walls of each castle, despite our best efforts to hold it at bay.

But this is no allegory, this is real life, and its effects on so many; the infected, the cured, the healthy, the untouched, the medical teams; is significant, life changing and life ending.

I have been on the road these past 9 months, starting in Iraq and ending in Saudi. Arrived in Saudi in early January and still here, with no end in sight. Home awaits, when flights and countries unlock, until then its working in a Covid rich country. I have been on 2 different projects, and exposed to the ways of Covid, from overseeing an outbreak from afar due to lockdown and curfews and then to being at the coalface of one, albeit a small outbreak. Been in lock down and then isolation, been on the road and in camps with outbreaks. The pressure has been continuous and relentless, what with all of the above and then also at times, wearing full medical PPE, double gloved, double masked with a face shield in 40 deg heat testing and monitoring people. Yes, you can breathe quiet well in a double mask (surgical and N95) with a face shield in 40˚ C heat for a few hours. Rather that, than to be intubated and ventilated.

mike in full ppe

Quantum_Conundrum_cover

One of the issues at the forefront of one’s mind is when do I get to detach from this dystopian nightmare and get to go home and rest. Working 6 to 7 days a week, week in and week out, some days are quiet while others drag into 18- or 20-hour marathons. The answer is the same as “how long is a piece of string” conundrum.

Compared to running a race with no defined finish line, you have no way to know how to pace yourself and what must be kept in reserve for the last lap and sprint across the line.

So now that I have spoken about being lost, what have I found/witnessed/seen during this time? I have found friends in places I never thought I would, have tapped the reserves of resilience I never  knew I had, seen (once again) the banality of corporate deceit and greed (which is not a new experience for me, but just depressing to witness in times of need and in a disaster), seen the compassion and care of dedicated medical professionals working with limited resources in difficult environments.

Personally, and professionally I have had to stretch the boundaries of my knowledge, patience, and energy levels; to keep pace with the ever-changing environments, locations, working hours and unimaginable stress from unexpected quarters. I have had to rely on my tried and trusted coping mechanisms. The journey has dragged me to revisit and explore new and old coping processes to get through the long grind away from home and my safe place.

No matter how bitter, maudlin, depressing this journey has been I must focus on the good that has come out of it, and that will be my guiding star.

“Midway along the journey of our life
I woke to find myself in a dark wood,
for I had wandered off from the straight path.

How hard it is to tell what it was like,
this wood of wilderness, savage and stubborn
(the thought of it brings back all my old fears),

a bitter place! Death could scarce be bitterer.
But if I would show the good that came of it
I must talk about things other than the good.”

Dante Alighieri

or in the words of Eros Ramazzotti from his song, Lettera al future/Letter to the future – loosely based around “The Masque of the Red Death”

Eros Ramazzotti Lettera al future/Letter to the future

I am writing all this to you

who will be born someday in the future

be kind

and who knows how things will be

if this wind will have left the cities…

I don’t know the world you’ll find

I just hope you’ll be

the son of a new

and more fair humanity

Thoughts on Blake’s “Marriage of Heaven & Hell”

William Blake’s The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, a composition of brief texts and accompanying engravings – the “book” ends with the Song of Liberty, a prose poem where Blake uses apocalyptic imagery to incite his readers to embrace change.

Rather apt for our current predicament in which we find ourselves …

Food for thought – Enjoy

mikesnexus

“evil is the active springing from energy”

William Blake (28 Nov 1757 – 12 Aug 1827) English poet, painter, and printmaker

For those who have not dived into the 27 pages of William Blake’s The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, a composition of brief texts and accompanying engravings (done by Blake himself). I would highly recommend that you embark on this very interesting journey as Blake takes the reader on a guided tour of Hell, in which he sets out to correct some of our incorrect notions. Blake was considered mad by contemporaries for his idiosyncratic and at times iconoclastic views on religion and politics, in as much he drew inspiration from the French and American revolutions. A more recent (and very short) study, William Blake: Visionary Anarchist by Peter Marshall (1988), classified Blake and his contemporary William Godwin as forerunners of modern anarchism. In later years after his death he…

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