Pebbles in my Pocket

pebbles in my pocket

line in the sand

make that stand

as you search

for closure



draw that line

standing strong and resolute

on a pebble strewn beach

digging deep

until you find them all



then…

facing what awaits

gazing boldly and contemptuously

at that which dares

to cross that line

© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus

Chasing Rainbows

the moon behind my back

with shadows stretching out before,

distorting, lengthening, changing

the way that lies ahead



standing in the gray

hoping to arrive

as I keep chasing rainbows

to dry my tears
© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus

A Life Discarded

rolling highways of aging steel

spikes of steel arching upwards

stretching from here to wherever

even possibly infinity



remnants of a life discarded

frantically clinging to rusted spikes

as the blustery wind plucks and rips

desperately trying to set them free



these cast aside fragments

finally break free to fly

but only to be caught

by yet another highway of steel



which proceeds to agonisingly

shred, rip, tear

more of its life away

right down to the marrow
© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus

Love Lingers

take the old, and make it new

paper over the pain

although the cracks

still let the love in



as the master said

the world changes

as we learn to make it new

I’ll still care for you



let’s use what we got

make do and make new

love is there for others too

but for you my love will always linger
© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus

What to Do?

 what to do?

…….

when your heart turns to dust

all you want is just …

yet your blood becomes rust



when in flash

all turns to ash

as your life is slashed



as all you can feel

is cold steel

as you slowly reel



what do you do to survive?

when you only feel alive

after five
© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus

what-to-do-1.jpg

Standing Serene

in the waxing and waning of life

as the sea of tranquillity transforms

with the fast approaching misfortunes of poseidon

be that island of serenity in the raging storms

and pounding waves

of life's tempest

…..

just stand serenely

and be

 

© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus

300px-Wind_Bound_Lerwick_around_1880

Like Water

walk with me

in the woods

dig me a hole

just pour me into it

make me like water

filling every crevice and cranny

and then

…. 

leave me be
© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus

Thought for the day …

be that island of serenity in the raging storms
and waves of life's tumultuous ocean
© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus

I don’t know where I’m going ….

The gorgeous voice of Scottish singer Barbara Dickson from the iconic Mike Batt Album – Caravans, is spinning through my mind …with her haunting voice and thoughtful, searing soul searching lyrics.

Mike Batt wrote the score, for the 1978 movie – Caravans – which was a 1978 Iranian-American film directed by James Fargo and (loosely) based on the novel by James A. Michener. The soundtrack which I have on vinyl, was the most successful element of the film, remaining a bestseller for many years after the film’s release.

The core message of the Caravan Song resonates with me at this point in my life … and whilst listening to the album yesterday, precipitated a sole searching discussion with T

“I don’t know where I’m going
But I’m going”

My life at present (summed up in a sentence), moving forward, but with no definitive end point or goal at present, the horizon, or some vague mirage of one, is there, I think…  I am moving on, towards some end point (I hope) but not sure what awaits or where I am going, and how I will get there.

All I do know is that I am going, but to where or what awaits, remains a mystery…

The morning sun is waiting in the sky
And I think I’m gonna break away
And follow where the birds of freedom fly
I need you give
I need to live
For the world is slowly turning
And the light of love are burning
In my eyes

Caravans
Oh, my soul is on the run
Overland
I am flying

Caravans
Moving out into the sun
Oh, I don’t know where I’m going
But I’m going

Caravans
Oh, my soul is on the run
Overland
I am flying
Caravans
Moving out into the sun
Oh, I don’t know where I’m going
But I’m going

Caravan Song
Mike Batt ©

Five Came Back – My Thoughts

This is not a Review!

This is: Peter Travers of Rolling Stone gave the series 3.5 stars out of 4, writing, “Arguably the best documentary ever made about Hollywood and wartime, Five Came Back is nirvana for movie lovers and a real eye-opener for anyone new to the subject.”

 

The 3 part mini series on Netflix, Five Came Back explores the experiences of five U.S. film directors – John Ford, William Wyler, John Huston, Frank Capra, and George Stevens – and their front-line film work during the Second World War, whilst enlisted into various branches of the US Military in Europe and the Pacific. I watched all 3 episodes in one sitting. The producers have then also paired 5 modern day directors and each modern director discusses the impact and legacies of one of the five earlier directors: Steven Spielberg (Wyler), Francis Ford Coppola (Huston), Guillermo del Toro (Capra), Paul Greengrass (Ford), and Lawrence Kasdan (Stevens).

I found the series fascinating, captivating and an emotional journey. Emotional, as it dragged me back to the recollections and memories, from my own experiences in War and years of work in EMS, and the mental stress and PTSD, that those times inflict on us. What they saw and how it changed them, and the reality that came rushing to meet them,  in ways they could have never conceived, impacted on their lives forever. Changing the way they saw the world and notably their creative output post the war.

The director George Stevens who before the war used to make romantic comedies never made one again in his life – and the tone of his movies changed, they were thoughtful and dramatic; Giant and The Diary of Anne Frank are two I remember seeing in the 1970’s with my mom …

But this is not a review…. back to how this series made me think and reflect …

A powerful and thought provoking moment came for me in the opening segment of the final episode (3) when, the narrator Paul Greengrass makes this (for me) very heartfelt observation:

“what is the witness that you’re giving to the world that you see out there”

I am still processing the full extent of what this means in the here and know, and how it impacts my life’s journey. The questions and thoughts I have on this are: what type of world do we see out there (as I am sure its different for many of us) and what is the image that we portray to that world. In this frenetic age of social media, where we can choose to live our entire lives in the public eye, dragging out our 15 min of fame to previously unimaginable lengths! And then how does this impact on the witness we bear and the world which we want to see?

Often we are moulded and haunted by a past, we did not always ask for, and facing an uncertain future and unknown destination. Yet even with that uncertainty staring us in the face we soldier forward. The biggest battle, at times is finding our way home or a home.

The section on PTSD of the soldiers and the 5 directors is thought provoking and raises more questions than answers, and another blog post is brewing on this subject and a short documentary film directed by John Houston. The 1946 film; Let There Be Light and its portrayal of soldiers suffering from post traumatic stress disorder led to Let There Be Light being suppressed by the U.S. government; it was not released until the 1980s.

Let me close out with the powerful optimistic hopeful words from a Capra post WW2 film, which was a flop on its release but later became a classic:

The world is not all evil.
Yes, we do have nightmares, but we also have dreams.
We do have villainy, but we also have great compassion.
There’s good in the world.
And it’s wonderful.

Frank Capra – It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

5 came back movie poster

© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus