be that island of serenity in the raging storms and waves of life's tumultuous ocean
Creative Writing
I don’t know where I’m going ….
The gorgeous voice of Scottish singer Barbara Dickson from the iconic Mike Batt Album – Caravans, is spinning through my mind …with her haunting voice and thoughtful, searing soul searching lyrics.
Mike Batt wrote the score, for the 1978 movie – Caravans – which was a 1978 Iranian-American film directed by James Fargo and (loosely) based on the novel by James A. Michener. The soundtrack which I have on vinyl, was the most successful element of the film, remaining a bestseller for many years after the film’s release.
The core message of the Caravan Song resonates with me at this point in my life … and whilst listening to the album yesterday, precipitated a sole searching discussion with T
“I don’t know where I’m going
But I’m going”
My life at present (summed up in a sentence), moving forward, but with no definitive end point or goal at present, the horizon, or some vague mirage of one, is there, I think… I am moving on, towards some end point (I hope) but not sure what awaits or where I am going, and how I will get there.
All I do know is that I am going, but to where or what awaits, remains a mystery…
The morning sun is waiting in the sky
And I think I’m gonna break away
And follow where the birds of freedom fly
I need you give
I need to live
For the world is slowly turning
And the light of love are burning
In my eyes
Caravans
Oh, my soul is on the run
Overland
I am flying
Caravans
Moving out into the sun
Oh, I don’t know where I’m going
But I’m going
Caravans
Oh, my soul is on the run
Overland
I am flying
Caravans
Moving out into the sun
Oh, I don’t know where I’m going
But I’m going
Caravan Song
Mike Batt ©
Five Came Back – My Thoughts
This is not a Review!
This is: Peter Travers of Rolling Stone gave the series 3.5 stars out of 4, writing, “Arguably the best documentary ever made about Hollywood and wartime, Five Came Back is nirvana for movie lovers and a real eye-opener for anyone new to the subject.”
The 3 part mini series on Netflix, Five Came Back explores the experiences of five U.S. film directors – John Ford, William Wyler, John Huston, Frank Capra, and George Stevens – and their front-line film work during the Second World War, whilst enlisted into various branches of the US Military in Europe and the Pacific. I watched all 3 episodes in one sitting. The producers have then also paired 5 modern day directors and each modern director discusses the impact and legacies of one of the five earlier directors: Steven Spielberg (Wyler), Francis Ford Coppola (Huston), Guillermo del Toro (Capra), Paul Greengrass (Ford), and Lawrence Kasdan (Stevens).
I found the series fascinating, captivating and an emotional journey. Emotional, as it dragged me back to the recollections and memories, from my own experiences in War and years of work in EMS, and the mental stress and PTSD, that those times inflict on us. What they saw and how it changed them, and the reality that came rushing to meet them, in ways they could have never conceived, impacted on their lives forever. Changing the way they saw the world and notably their creative output post the war.
The director George Stevens who before the war used to make romantic comedies never made one again in his life – and the tone of his movies changed, they were thoughtful and dramatic; Giant and The Diary of Anne Frank are two I remember seeing in the 1970’s with my mom …
But this is not a review…. back to how this series made me think and reflect …
A powerful and thought provoking moment came for me in the opening segment of the final episode (3) when, the narrator Paul Greengrass makes this (for me) very heartfelt observation:
“what is the witness that you’re giving to the world that you see out there”
I am still processing the full extent of what this means in the here and know, and how it impacts my life’s journey. The questions and thoughts I have on this are: what type of world do we see out there (as I am sure its different for many of us) and what is the image that we portray to that world. In this frenetic age of social media, where we can choose to live our entire lives in the public eye, dragging out our 15 min of fame to previously unimaginable lengths! And then how does this impact on the witness we bear and the world which we want to see?
Often we are moulded and haunted by a past, we did not always ask for, and facing an uncertain future and unknown destination. Yet even with that uncertainty staring us in the face we soldier forward. The biggest battle, at times is finding our way home or a home.
The section on PTSD of the soldiers and the 5 directors is thought provoking and raises more questions than answers, and another blog post is brewing on this subject and a short documentary film directed by John Houston. The 1946 film; Let There Be Light and its portrayal of soldiers suffering from post traumatic stress disorder led to Let There Be Light being suppressed by the U.S. government; it was not released until the 1980s.
Let me close out with the powerful optimistic hopeful words from a Capra post WW2 film, which was a flop on its release but later became a classic:
The world is not all evil.
Yes, we do have nightmares, but we also have dreams.
We do have villainy, but we also have great compassion.
There’s good in the world.
And it’s wonderful.Frank Capra – It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus
No Limits
rose petals pressed between blank pages bleeding out, total commitment to the cost of pressing on
© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus
Moving Towards Hope
heard you feeling down show me where it hurts? tell me your story so, I can share your pain I to have that feeling, again of pain fast approaching from where you ask? from the chasm of my self let me get up to hopefully, walk away from this pain this is not who I am, not numb to life, rather alive to possibilities
© 2019 michael d emmerich
© 2019 mikesnexus

Hold On!
what is it that we value
what is the cost of that,
which we so value?
what do we owe and to whom?
to save a friendship
or one that you love
that one, who is there for you
loving unconditionally
accepting of you, regardless
of all your baggage and shit
the walls of silence
and absence
hold on to that person
don’t let go
fucking fight
because
to often, we are waiting
for what’s already there
open your eye’s
see the love
right in front of you.
© 2018 michael d emmerich
© 2018 mikesnexus.com
#BOTL&SOTL
stoke those embers
before that cigar dies
draw deep and inhale
let the embers burn bright again
nurture the leaf
brothers and sisters
inhale, draw deep
breath and just
……..
savour life
or another cigar
© 2018 michael d emmerich
© 2018 mikesnexus.com
The Forgotten Soldier
history written by the victorious remembered by the soldier forgotten by all battered, bruised, discarded honour cast aside no medals for the forgotten warrior once forgotten memories now return new wounds emerge new scars new pain and guilt but still society forgets wars once popular now become an anathema silence abounds but the memories remain history written in black but remembered in blood history written in scars survives beyond the fading text politicians write the history soldiers carry the weight of that history
© 2016 michael d emmerich
© 2016 mikesnexus.com
Shadows of My Mind
skittish shadows, flirting with the smoke filled shadows of my mind and still my mind burns like cheap whisky coursing down my throat while the beckoning, cavernous maw of blackness approaches just another hungry mouth that needs to feed at the trough of my existence
© 2018 michael d emmerich
© 2018 mikesnexus.com
All at Sea
alone adrift all at sea winds prevail and blow endless sky horizon lost in the blue searching for firmer ground white dove released in hope to return with what or not at all
© 2018 michael d emmerich
© 2018 mikesnexus.com